In an effort to not cause anymore unnecessary drama I've taken special care to eliminate well over half of what's up with my life in this blog. Sad really, but it's a keeping the peace technique. Basically I have things to say that people either don't want to hear, or don't need to hear. Despite having a lot inside to share, I'll be brief.
I can get over what a weird feeling this has all been. In the 2 months since I've been back everything has been crazy and felt unorganized, messy, and almost never settled down. I'm not happy with my current situation on many angles, but I knew this would be part of the move back when I did and I'm tasting that flavor now. It's bittersweet. Nice to be back to familiar stuff but since the first month passed and the freshness of the move back has worn off I've been forced to see the side of Vermont that made me leave. Sadly I don't have all those same things that distracted me before. No TV show, no radio show, no place of my own.
I need to go back and mention it again with more emphasis how people just don't get how weird this is. I wish there was a better word for it... There's no way to adequately describe what I'm going through and that's one of the things that bugs me. People don't know the daily battles I don't take up to simply go with the flow. I'm really more of a "create-your-own-path guy" than a "follow-the-path-guy," I'm thinking you all knew that. It's been a hard thing for me to do these past few months. I feel the parts of me that I lost in Milwaukee are back but so too are those parts of me that are questioning why in the hell I moved back here. I've taken the humble-pie stance of taking steps backwards to eventually move forward.
Be it here in Vermont or elsewhere in the future... my immediate future is here. Rebuilding the good stuff, leaving out the bad, and remembering to advance on the new stuff. Keeping my options open for any and all things that fate might throw at me next.
Fate has always been a big part of my life. I have to believe in it... if I didn't I'd probably be muttering this blog to myself in a straight-jacket as I tossed myself off padded walls. We can prepare, and we can plan but we can't predict accurately. Fate won't allow it. It's like watching a mystery/suspense with no ending. It's best stories come after the moments we are currently in. Who is to say fate won't take me out of Vermont again? Who is to say it won't leave me here? Who's to say I don't control any of it? With so many questions and no answers until later it's easy to get overwhelmed at the idea of fate. I however embrace it, and enjoy making choices within it along the way.
Anyone still with me? Good. I got a little preachy there for a second. Maybe you thought you had mistakenly logged in to a different blog from a religious cult. FUDGE! See... we're back. Now watch yourself... you're in the kick zone!
KICK ZONE! (New Blog Feature where I kick around topics of interest)
* Speaking of kicking... I've taken harsh criticism for not supporting the USA during the World Cup. Simply put I didn't support the World Cup. Period. Soccer might have taken off more here if they did well. I'm sick of that sport getting any pub here in the states and therefore I wished losses on them for my own selfish reasons... although I'm POSTIVE that at least 70% of America agrees with me that soccer sucks.
* It's sad how the reality shows of today have made our youth soft. They think things can just be handed to them like winning a lottery instead of putting in hard work, studying, or both to get what you want rather than have it handed to you. Let's be honest... there's a real good chance if you're under 30 and not working hard or studying that your grandparents are disappointed in you.
* Softball has been a life-saver for me as I've met a lot of great new folks and gotten a chance to play a lot. I was worried in April that I might not catch on with a team in time but thanks to Jay Lestage the one I'm on with him led me to another. Playing at least a couple nights a week has been a good escape for me and I'm optimistic that the new relationships I've formed, and am still forming, will last a lifetime!
* I recently got moved back to a Noon-8:30 schedule except for days I have softball. I'm not happy about the move back in time as it doesn't allow me much evening time for a life, but I guess I shouldn't be shocked... I never had much of a life before on 2nd shift... just think about how bad 3 to 11:30 will be come the fall. There have been a number of changes at UVM since I left and most of them are positive, but the major change has us responsible for a lot of outside stuff which I hate doing! However it's a good group of guys there and it could be, and has been, way worse in the past. I came back for the benefits first and foremost and between health and schooling I plan to get what I need as I help UVM Athletics run smooth as ever.
* I'm with Team Jacob if anyone cares. I've never seen any of the films or (obviously because I hate reading) ever read any of the Twilight series books. Just seems like I've heard about a lot of positive stuff with human-wolf relationships... boys raised by wolves, Dances with Wolves, Teen Wolf... those all worked out OK. Never heard of human-vampire relationships going too well... you know because of their pesky taste for OUR HUMAN BLOOD! Plus Edward is creepy looking... that is all.
* I want to see Hot Tub Time Machine despite it looking really dumb. It's out on DVD so if anyone buys it let me know I want to borrow it.
* I miss my stuff more than you realize. I need my stuff to feel at home, and to properly accessorize. My wardrobe is repeating itself too much but I can't get to all of my shit. I can not wait until I have my own place to hang my stuff and get normal for awhile. Don't know when it will be but I think I'm closing in on some options... sadly all still about a month away.
* Turd Furguson is a funny name.
* With the fourth of July around the corner I wonder how much money is wasted per year on colorful explosions in the sky? I've never been a big fan. Don't see all the fuss unless someone just hit a homerun. Why not use the death penalty to our advantage on this day? Create small planes that could crash mid-air to kill the inmates and produce an explosion worth seeing? I'm just saying? (might be time soon for another "When I'm King" installment)
Ok you're safe... you've left the kick zone.
*kicks at you "HI YAAA"
Watch it my kick range is strong. I can close quickly sometimes you think you're out but then BAM, size 14 in your grill!
Anyway... I lightened this up and got in a better mood today due to a special redheaded friend, so thanks for the pick-me-up! I'll be back with fresh blog soon. For now, chew on this!
