I've always tried to live life so that I didn't regret anything. Be it not doing something or taking an opportunity when presented. However as I've gotten older I realize I can't honestly admit that I have little to no regrets. I think of new ones everyday. I don't let them eat me up because I'm good about living in the 'now,' but it still helps me attack the future to look back on things I regret. I'd love to share some of them here, but as part of my new 'less is more policy' I'm abstaining. However I will discuss one.
Lately I just haven't been happy. I don't think the SAD is all to blame here. I'm just not sure where I'm going and I don't like that the only things that I do see that make sense don't excite me either. I feel like living in Vermont makes me more bitter by the day, and I don't want to grow to hate a place I love being from. 'These little town blues' (to borrow a phrase from Sinatra) just never melt away... much like the hoards and hoards of snow this year. I feel often times like myself in high school again... bored with the curriculum doing barely enough to get by... not feeling challenged in a positive way that excites me to succeed, learn, or do great things. I miss that spirit that built in me during my time at the Bradley Center. I miss the way that job challenged me or kept it interesting by coming up with new stuff. Stuff that I felt mattered. Often times I feel wasted here and my level of enthusiasm is at an all-time low. I hope the different earlier hours and better weather improve my feelings at work in the months to come.
So... I hate it when I'm in "optimal blogging zone" or the "OBZ" as I call it, and I write some stuff that I just can't share. It's stuff I maybe needed to write to realize... but it's not meant for public eyes. It was pretty telling and maybe someday I can share some of the goodness that was here for the last 15 minutes before I decided to cut it out. I'll say this about the now-missing-paragraph, it made me sound like a dick, who doesn't want to come off as one. I don't think anyone ever wants that, but sadly most people can't handle the truth (to borrow a movie quote).
Basically I check-in less because I don't know what to say that I feel like sharing. Think of it as not writer's block but more like too much too say. Not all quality or worthy of sharing or venting about either. I'm sure life will take another upswing if only even for the precious spring and summer months. However I'll use the winters like this as motivation to make change. If 2011 is truly "The Year of The Pich'" as I've joked.. then for sure the next 10 months will deliver me from somberness, drama, and lead me towards where I want to be personally, professionally, and physically.
QUICK HITS
- Mad congrats to the Green Bay Packers on their Super Bowl win! Not only was my Dad happy but Wisconsin is standing tall for my visit in late March early April and I also won $200 on the score outcome!
- With money I won above I finally got a flat screen TV that works. 37' Vizio 120hrtz pretty pleased with it. The few things I've been spending money on while I'm in this saving period are things I'll need when I move eventually. The next big item will be a bed, but that will wait until closer to moving day.
- I've been watching a lot of the show "Weeds" lately. A Showtime series about a suburban housewife that sells pot. Great plot twists and entertaining dramedy at every turn. I was referred to it a long time ago and now through Netflix I'm catching up. I'm already on season 3!
- I've fallin way behind schedule with the Pich' Awards. I never have the time to devote to them lately and I feel like if I don't do it right I shouldn't do it at all... which is why it's taking so long... cause it will be done right, dammit!
- A few weeks ago I got some of my new bumper stickers to adorn my rig very soon. Anyone interested can have a 'Everything Boston Sucks' sticker... I have 3 extras... help spread the word about the worst city in America!
- Anyone local to Vermont might have had the displeasure of hearing the Rob and Rich Show on ESPN radio. I listened to the show quite a few times the first couple of weeks but it's just horrible. Mostly because of Rich Haskell who would be better served to keep his high-pitched voice in the Lake Monsters booth where it belongs. The show also stinks because they are local guys homering it up. Too much info on High School and D3 junk. Other than the UVM chatter I've never enjoyed a moment of their show. People in Vermont realize their local sports suck, that's why we like to hear about the national sports to get sports news from the real stuff. Rob and Rich have even been unprofessional enough to fire back on myself and my friend who have said that we don't like their show. News Flash: if you're in the public eye you're going to have haters and people that like you... breathe in the good and ignore the bad like a professional. In other words if we're streaking on your field disrupting the game, don't show us on TV and celebrate it... that what bullies want, or in this case, what haters want... and what's the one thing we know about haters?
HATERS GONNA HATE
...but seriously the show is so bad I welcome you to listen yourself and if you like it you probably like Boston teams and mediocrity.
- That was a long Quick Hit... sorry
- That was a short one... your welcome
- Finally... The Rock.. has come back... to the WWE! Wrestlemania sales will be off the hook, but better next year when The Rock goes one on one with Boston area bum John Cena!
Alright I'm off for now. You stay classy!
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
February Check-In
1 month to go until the Madness of March begins saving us from the crappy wintery hell! Here's what's been going on.
I have to start with the 2 most frequently asked questions.
1. Q: How's it going with your lady friend? I heard she came to visit. A: Far be it from me to kiss and tell, yes I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, but having Katie in town was great. As a guy who usually makes the grand gestures and later gets burned or as the fellas say, "get mileage on my heart." It was nice to wear the other shoes for a change. It gave us a chance to hang out for 4 days and I enjoyed her visit. I have so many more thoughts on this visit but choose to keep that info to myself. You'll get why in a few paragraphs but I digress...
2. Q: Where the hell are the Pich' Awards funny man? A: As I said before I hope to have them done in February, but progress is slow. I have so much done already that I'm dying to show but I'm waiting to do it all at once. It's sure to have eyes-rolling, L's "OL-ing," and 10 maids of milking.... ok maybe not that last one. Even if it takes until March trust me it will be worth the wait.
So basically I'll gather folks have noticed I check in less on my website and even the blog here. I've learned over the years, mostly the hard way, that it's not always necessary to share my every opinion. I'd like to, trust you me, but simply the world and the Internet can't handle it. It's also made my conversations better because I don't assume everyone knows every detail of my life these days and they don't. Of course I've also realized that sometimes my S.A.D. takes me to a dark tone with my writing and I'm not that kind of dude really. I sort of use a mix of the "don't-shop-for-groceries-when-you're-hungry-attitude" and the "less-is-more-atttitude." It's working for me for now which seems to have become my life.
Earlier this month UVM Athletics announced they will host the Women's Hockey International Tournament in April of 2012. It was cool to be at the press conference but as everyone was getting excited about something 15 months away I couldn't shake a sick feeling that came over me. "I'll still be here for this?" Sad thing was I felt like if I had to bet on it that I'd bet, yes. That made me even more depressed. As the spring nears and my sweet gig of living comes to close I'm faced with choices. All of them scare me. Basically because I fear I'm near having to sign a lease somewhere. While this would reunite me with all of my stuff and a chance to decorate and get back to my style of living, it would also signify 'settling down' again here in VT. I guess ever since I've been back I've felt like a player who got traded to a team during the last year of his contract. I'm not invested here other than my job which I need desperately. I'm not sure how this is going to go, but in the next few months I'm moving... again... just don't know where yet, but it will be in Vermont.
I'm not really sure what I'm doing with myself. Who is somedays right? Maybe that's why some people take joy in the settling in here in Vermont and excepting the status quo... at least they know where they stand. I'm just sick of standing in the same spot already... after less than a year back... and yes I knew that would happen and I'm guessing anyone else who gave it a second thought did too.
I dream big for a dude that considers himself a 'realist.' I've talked myself out of so many things that could have changed my life and yet also grabbed so many balloons that flew me to places I never thought I'd go. If I had half as much motivation and drive as I had ideas and thoughts I don't know where I'd be... but trust you me, I'd be a possible guest on Conan... or maybe have taken that Tonight Show slot from Leno myself and gotten kicked to basic cable on TBS - Very Funny
I remain confident that the time I spend now is still prepping for the future of my happiness. Sure I'm making the most of life now, but I also realize that this time is like the squirrel packing away acorns for the winter. I'm plotting, saving, and thinking of where and when the next move will happen. Waiting for time to pass, money to pile up, and resumes to be read. This is how I stuff my cheeks with hopes I'll make it through another East Coast winter if in fact I am here to host the 2012 event at Gutterson Fieldhouse.
On a lighter note lets end with quick hits!
- Go Pack Go! Super Bowl is coming up this Sunday and for my Dad, and my Wisconsin peeps I proudly support the green and gold! I also really like Aaron Rodgers and theres a story attached as to why but this is quick hits...
- I signed up for Netflix recently and hot damn is it good. I can instantly watch tons of stuff and because I never watch movies most of the old stuff is new to me!
- My skills in Call of Duty Black Ops have surprised even me. I went from a 2-13 (kills-deaths) guy to always sporting a positive ratio and usually playing more like 14-6 guy. It was a long hard road of suck to get to leading a match in kills but it was fun!
- Big time travel coming up as I head to NYC at the end of Feb., Hartford in early March, and Milwaukee in Early April! Should be some great times ahead!
- With only a couple months between now and the softball season I'm getting excited but not yet in shape. I hope I don't have a "sophomore slump" with my teams and hopefully this year championships accompany the friendships and good-times while whacking and throwing a sphere around a diamond.
To end this baby out let me say that with all of the trips and good times ahead I welcome the spring to hurry up and get here already! But I also realize that some big decisions also loom during these good times. Here's to surviving February! Be well!
I have to start with the 2 most frequently asked questions.
1. Q: How's it going with your lady friend? I heard she came to visit. A: Far be it from me to kiss and tell, yes I'm trying to turn over a new leaf, but having Katie in town was great. As a guy who usually makes the grand gestures and later gets burned or as the fellas say, "get mileage on my heart." It was nice to wear the other shoes for a change. It gave us a chance to hang out for 4 days and I enjoyed her visit. I have so many more thoughts on this visit but choose to keep that info to myself. You'll get why in a few paragraphs but I digress...
2. Q: Where the hell are the Pich' Awards funny man? A: As I said before I hope to have them done in February, but progress is slow. I have so much done already that I'm dying to show but I'm waiting to do it all at once. It's sure to have eyes-rolling, L's "OL-ing," and 10 maids of milking.... ok maybe not that last one. Even if it takes until March trust me it will be worth the wait.
So basically I'll gather folks have noticed I check in less on my website and even the blog here. I've learned over the years, mostly the hard way, that it's not always necessary to share my every opinion. I'd like to, trust you me, but simply the world and the Internet can't handle it. It's also made my conversations better because I don't assume everyone knows every detail of my life these days and they don't. Of course I've also realized that sometimes my S.A.D. takes me to a dark tone with my writing and I'm not that kind of dude really. I sort of use a mix of the "don't-shop-for-groceries-when-you're-hungry-attitude" and the "less-is-more-atttitude." It's working for me for now which seems to have become my life.
Earlier this month UVM Athletics announced they will host the Women's Hockey International Tournament in April of 2012. It was cool to be at the press conference but as everyone was getting excited about something 15 months away I couldn't shake a sick feeling that came over me. "I'll still be here for this?" Sad thing was I felt like if I had to bet on it that I'd bet, yes. That made me even more depressed. As the spring nears and my sweet gig of living comes to close I'm faced with choices. All of them scare me. Basically because I fear I'm near having to sign a lease somewhere. While this would reunite me with all of my stuff and a chance to decorate and get back to my style of living, it would also signify 'settling down' again here in VT. I guess ever since I've been back I've felt like a player who got traded to a team during the last year of his contract. I'm not invested here other than my job which I need desperately. I'm not sure how this is going to go, but in the next few months I'm moving... again... just don't know where yet, but it will be in Vermont.
I'm not really sure what I'm doing with myself. Who is somedays right? Maybe that's why some people take joy in the settling in here in Vermont and excepting the status quo... at least they know where they stand. I'm just sick of standing in the same spot already... after less than a year back... and yes I knew that would happen and I'm guessing anyone else who gave it a second thought did too.
I dream big for a dude that considers himself a 'realist.' I've talked myself out of so many things that could have changed my life and yet also grabbed so many balloons that flew me to places I never thought I'd go. If I had half as much motivation and drive as I had ideas and thoughts I don't know where I'd be... but trust you me, I'd be a possible guest on Conan... or maybe have taken that Tonight Show slot from Leno myself and gotten kicked to basic cable on TBS - Very Funny
I remain confident that the time I spend now is still prepping for the future of my happiness. Sure I'm making the most of life now, but I also realize that this time is like the squirrel packing away acorns for the winter. I'm plotting, saving, and thinking of where and when the next move will happen. Waiting for time to pass, money to pile up, and resumes to be read. This is how I stuff my cheeks with hopes I'll make it through another East Coast winter if in fact I am here to host the 2012 event at Gutterson Fieldhouse.
On a lighter note lets end with quick hits!
- Go Pack Go! Super Bowl is coming up this Sunday and for my Dad, and my Wisconsin peeps I proudly support the green and gold! I also really like Aaron Rodgers and theres a story attached as to why but this is quick hits...
- I signed up for Netflix recently and hot damn is it good. I can instantly watch tons of stuff and because I never watch movies most of the old stuff is new to me!
- My skills in Call of Duty Black Ops have surprised even me. I went from a 2-13 (kills-deaths) guy to always sporting a positive ratio and usually playing more like 14-6 guy. It was a long hard road of suck to get to leading a match in kills but it was fun!
- Big time travel coming up as I head to NYC at the end of Feb., Hartford in early March, and Milwaukee in Early April! Should be some great times ahead!
- With only a couple months between now and the softball season I'm getting excited but not yet in shape. I hope I don't have a "sophomore slump" with my teams and hopefully this year championships accompany the friendships and good-times while whacking and throwing a sphere around a diamond.
To end this baby out let me say that with all of the trips and good times ahead I welcome the spring to hurry up and get here already! But I also realize that some big decisions also loom during these good times. Here's to surviving February! Be well!
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