Sometimes a body of work just speaks for itself... I just re-read all of the past year's blogs. They sure did sum it up. I read most of them for the first time since editing before posting them (some still need work). It was eye-opening.
I watched as the transformation of confused, unsure, unhappy me, gradually turned back in to a confident, secure, me. It was sad, mostly because I read about my Milwaukee farewell and how much that place and people affected me and always will. Mostly it reminded me that when taking steps backwards to go forward, as I've labeled my return to Vermont, the steps forward again don't always go as fast. However the journey back to where I needed to be personally, professionally, and financially has really made some great strides.
Rather than recap every month as I used to do with an end of the year blog I simply say, dig in to the old stuff if you're bored. Feel the emotions I had every step of the way. See the change for yourself.
That said I only have two other things I have to blog and get off my chest.
1) I don't think it's a huge secret anymore that I don't want to be in Vermont long-term. I'm pretty sure everyone has picked up on it by things I've said or the way I act. I just wanted it to be said, by me, in my blog so there's no confusion. I said good-bye to living in Vermont back in 2008 and I'd be better suited to enjoying Vermont the way it's meant to be for me... on vacation. I've felt this way for a long time and just not really shared it with everyone. I even took video of myself addressing this issue just days before driving back to Vermont from Milwaukee. I didn't really share it for a few reasons which I'll keep to myself but I'm sure you could guess a couple obvious ones. To anyone who feels mislead I am truly sorry. I do love Vermont, and I'll always fly our flag, but I'd rather fly it somewhere else. An opinion piece was in the Burlington Free Press recently that really struck a chord with me. It discussed how long the I-289 project is taking and all of the issues with that. In a strange way that article pointed out what I don't like about Vermont. There's too many people here that fear change, fear growth, and simply get happy with the status quo. Nothing against those who are, but that ain't me. I don't want to bash on Vermont, but since I've been away I've learned what I want and it's not to live in here. Of course all that being said I don't have plans to go anywhere in the near future. I'm being a little smarter about my next move and I'm going to take time to set it up, but trust me I've been planning for this since I got fired from the Bradley Center and you know me... nothing stops me when I'm motivated. It just going to take some time... I always like to address issues rather than sit on them and I guess that's really what I've been doing since I've been back. It made it frustrating for me and at times I've even lost my cool. I'm sorry to anyone who felt my wrath and hopefully being more open and honest will alleviate that from my psyche.
2) I led with the other fact in part to guide slowly in to the next part which inevitably leads to the question/joke: "So when are you moving to New York?" The fact is I met a girl, named Katie, that I really like who lives in NYC. Far be it from me, to go in to detail about her on my blog for a number of reasons, but I just wanted to share that she is someone very special to me and although we joke about an NYC move (based on the last lady I was involved with and where I ended up, and I use the term "lady" there loosely)... I assure you I'm being more careful this time than at any other in my life, but not without allowing myself to have fun and let things happen as naturally as they can in this situation. Again I have no immediate plans to move anywhere and it simply wouldn't make sense to do so at this time.
Ok... well I'm doing pretty well. Things in 2011 have started out a lot better than in recent years. I'm usually in pretty good spirits. I think the vitamins I take are helping with the seasonal dep. I've been laying low, saving cash, and thanking my lucky stars for being where I am today after all the flaming hoops life has made me jump through. Sure I'm a little singed but what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, right? I'm sure we all feel that way if we really think about it. All the best to you and yours in the new year!
